This is a technical service announcement.

The website http://tiddlypom.heffalump.me.uk/gallery/index.php/Sam/ will shortly be turned off.

The email address sam@heffalump.me.uk is going away.

The domain heffalump.me.uk has not been renewed.

The heffalump has been released into the wild, and is doing very well thank you.

I'm going to the Air Tattoo!

There's going to be a Vulcan!

*bounce*

Current Mood: excited

My new shiny thing arrived today, so for the first time in a couple of years I now have a home computer that that isn't totally painful to use.

I live! I think this is my first LJ post for ages. Hi everyone!

Anyway, it's time to replace my computer with something which is (a) faster and (b) more laptopish. I'm currently looking at one of the 17" Dell Studios. Basically what I want is something with a large screen, lots of RAM, decent CPU and reasonable disk, not costing the earth. I don't need a DeathStar 9000 Game Tron or anything like that, just a decent desktop replacement which can travel with me a little bit. I like the Dells, but does anyone have any alternatives they think I should be looking at?

I find it takes approximately half a day back at work for the relaxing effect of a long holiday to be completely undone.

I can now ski. The Whistler-Blackcombe resort where we stayed has one of the best ski schools in Canada and it really showed. One difference between Canada and Europe is that they don't have red runs - so their greens are more like European blues, and their blues are more like European reds. By the end of the week I was going reasonably confidently down the blues so I think I did well enough. I attempted one black run - the Dave Murray Downhill (which will be used for the 2010 Winter Olympics Men's downhill event). This was problematic. Mostly it was like a fast blue, but there were a couple of places which were like sheer cliffs of ice. As I was halfway down one of them, sliding foot first on my side, it occurred to me that I should probably be trying to arrest my fall. But then I realised that I'd already found the easiest way of getting down, so carried on.

The mounties were rubbish. Did not meet expectations at all. Those few members of the RCMP that we saw not only weren't wearing shiny red uniforms, but they also did not open any doors for us or carry our groceries. Epic fail. We did however see Diefenbaker being taken for a walk in Stanley Park.

On the subject of law, the Canadians are apparently heavily into their card fraud - apparently it's one of the worst places for copying cards. Also, each of your cards will only work in their ATMs exactly once. I think I may have gotten the upper hand though - my $6 locker rental appears to have been billed to my credit card as $0.06, which converts to £0.03. I shall cease complaining about the outlandish locker rental prices.

We had two days in Vancouver in between skiing days. This allowed us to take in the Vancouver Aquarium, which is well worth a visit. We saw a whale show and a dolphin show, and a crab wrestling with a starfish. Later we went to see Vancouver's other main attraction, the Capilano Suspension bridge. This was total rubbish. Costing $30, it's a rope bridge slung across a valley. Compares poorly to the Clifton Suspension Bridge, which is free (for pedestrians) and was built by Brunel. I suspect the Capilano bridge was built by boy scouts. Of more interest was the exercise in Canadian public transport getting there. It turns out that by fumbling with the coins until the bus driver gets impatient, and putting on the right accent, you can get a half price bus ticket! This apparently never happens to the locals, but happened twice to us.

I had some other things to say about Canada, but I can't remember what they all were now. There was going to be a mention of their excellent breakfasts and coffee, but that will have to pass. Of all the countries I've been to, I think it's the only one where I've really thought I could actually happily live. I'll also definitely be going skiing again.

It's Christmas time! Hope you all have a good holiday. I'm heading home t the land of no internet for a few days, although I use my computer so little these days that that will probably make very little difference. Since I haven't updated in quite a while, here's a few random updates:

Marvin the Paranoid Fiesta is now a mended fiesta after having to go to the home for sick cars to have his rear wheel bearing replaced. As a welcome back/Christmas present he is now sporting a lovely set of new car mats which are conveniently obscuring the muck that had accumulated on his floor. This is working so well that when he gets all mucky again on the floor I plan to buy another set of car mats to go on top of the first set...

I'm going skiing in January, somewhere in Canada. I'm doing this with a friend from uni and her work colleagues whom I have never met. The last time I did skiing was when I was ten, on a dry ski slope at Calshot. I have literally no clue how ski holidays work or what the logistics are. I've just bought something called a lift pass, which I gather is related to how we get up the mountain before coming down it again. Also last weekend I bought a rather fetching (and cheap as possible!) collection of ski garments, none of which match. This should be interesting.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

This weekend Marvin had lots of adventures. On Saturday we went to Banbury. Whilest trying to find the car park Marvin got frisky and decided that he wanted to have a go at being... A TAXI!!!! So we went in the taxi rank and queued with the taxis for a bit. Then Marvin decided it was time to be... A BUS!! So we went into the bus station, and some worried people in bright yellow jackets urged us to turn around. Blimey, these buses just keep getting smaller and smaller these days. Thankfully Marvin didn't show any ambition to be a train. I don't think that would have worked out very well.

The fun wasn't over though. On Sunday evening we drove back from Buckingham down the country roads and Marvin had a go at being.... A SUBMARINE!

In other exciting news I have finally reading The Battle of Spain, which has possibly taken me longer to read than the Spaniards took to fight it.

( spoiler alert )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7705154.stm. Nice, but with only one helipad it might be a bit limited. The included submarine is cool though. In fact I think this yacht should have been in the new Bond film. Quantum of Solace was rubbish. They've done the "rookie Bond, not quite a 00 agent yet" angle, but now it's been done they really badly need to return to the kind of bonkers Bond movie where the bad guy has a volcano lair and a yacht that turns into a hydrofoil. If the yacht is a stealth yacht that can also launch spaceships then that's even better.

Other highlights of the recent past include a trip to the House of Lords, a night at the theatre (I have finally seen Les Miserables, hurrah!), the discovery of giant mosquitoes in Hertfordshire, and my friend Mike trying to poison me with health food. Unfortunately we were advised not to make the trip to Crowthorne for Ally and Matt's fireworks due to the prevailing weather conditions, so we ended up spending Saturday night watching Quantum of Cuttlefish instead. Seriously, does anybody know why it's called Quantum of Solace? Maybe I just wasn't paying attention but I really didn't get that.

(Disclaimer: ok, it wasn't all that bad. It wasn't all that great either, but it was a fun couple of hours and some things blew up.)

Hi. I have horrible disgusting illness.

I now have a TomTom. This is useful as I have enough brain to hold a small fraction of the journey, and so any kind of diversion or unexpected junction tends to spell doom. via Dunstable.

However, I think some of the voices that come with the TomTom are a bit boring. I think it would be much better if one of the voices was the mad computer from Portal:

"You're going the wrong way."

"Come back. You're going the wrong way. Come back and there will be a party, and cake."

"I don't know what you're trying to achieve by doing that."

"They've already cut the cake. I tried to stop them, but they wouldn't listen."

"I hope you didn't think I was really trying to murder you back then."